Saturday, May 24, 2008

Spider in the Sink

It isn't too far to say fear; not far enough to say despair. 
 It isn't fair--screamed too many times like a curse at the sky as he wishes away his hopeless cries on the torrents of unfailingly dramatic rain falling
Down stairs backlit by terror to a dark room where none can hear him sobbing for his
Mommy is too enamored with the idea of who she wants him to be to have any idea of who 
He wants to be the good-hearted man that walks next to his wife in fifty years as she piddles through the store looking for
God knows what will happen when the picture of him is presented unadulterated, uncensored and they see
Him
Only as they want to see him and that is failing
To find an answer to the question
Why can't you see what we are trying to 
Say over and over that you love him, but love forgives and you forgive
Conditionally giving "support" that tears him
Down to a bite-size version of a man who can't remember his 
Name the last time you told him you were proud of who he was and that he was trying
To piss you off because he just
Wants you to realize that you don't have to accept him for what he's doing, but 
Accept
Him 
For 
Who 
He 
Is tired of playing this game for which the rules are changed all the 
Time is running out and he is ready to quit trying
To find the right way to say
I love you.  I miss you.  Talk to me like I'm your son and stop staring at the corpse of the man you wanted me to be.
I'm right here.
And you're missing me.


4 Comments:

Blogger Director said...

Don't ever stop writing.

5:17 PM  
Blogger Tracey said...

Gah! This is incredible, my friend. Thanks for posting it before I knew what I was missing.

8:39 PM  
Blogger Beloved Meadow said...

This is so well written it gives me chills. I love your transitions. Well done, my friend.
As for the content (because I am a teacher and from now until eternity will have to comment on grammar / format and content seperately) I wish I could hug you. Parents wanting children to be something their child was not created to be is a theme that occurs way too often in life. I should know - sorta. Beautiful images. Thank you.

4:55 AM  
Blogger Renee said...

Beautiful sad truth...there are not other words to describe it...beautiful sad truth...the rhythmic phrases which all connect and are yet juxtaposed add to the power of all ready poignant words...beautiful sad truth.

1:28 AM  

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