Starless Sky and Moonless night
A friend tells me of a concept she learned in one of her classes called the "dark night of the soul." It is a fascinating and terrifying concept: a darkness so deep, so consuming as to not only fill your mind, but your heart and your soul as well. God is nowhere to be found. Every light is extinguished. No one sees your pain. No one cares. Or so it seems.
"I've never experienced it," she tells me. "But I'm afraid to because I know it will happen at least once to everybody." She should be scared. This dark night of the soul is the most painful experince imaginable. It welcomes death as a beautiful way to stop it all. It is so lonely as to shatter a heart of iron. It is cold beyond description.
Anger flourishes in the Night. A cold fury or a smoldering rage; it breeds like bacteria in your mind. God is your biggest enemy. His promises are mockery. Every accomplishment seems as nothing. Every accomplishment is nothing. Praise of God is laughable. A contest of wills is sparked. God is your competition.
Night never breaks. Never does the Night fail or fade slowly into the twilight of morning. Night never breaks. You always break. Always.
God is there in the Night. He waits for your heart. Not your haughty words or testing plans. He waits for your heart. Sometimes it is broken when he takes it in His hands. It isn't always back in one piece when He gives it back. But the scars are stronger than the original bits. They tell a story of survival through God.
Life goes on. God has removed you from the night and you can see once again. Beware: complacency can destroy as surely as a bullet.
Night falls again. This time you can't afford to be angry at God. Maybe you'll get through it faster and stronger this time.
See you when we reach the other side.
"I've never experienced it," she tells me. "But I'm afraid to because I know it will happen at least once to everybody." She should be scared. This dark night of the soul is the most painful experince imaginable. It welcomes death as a beautiful way to stop it all. It is so lonely as to shatter a heart of iron. It is cold beyond description.
Anger flourishes in the Night. A cold fury or a smoldering rage; it breeds like bacteria in your mind. God is your biggest enemy. His promises are mockery. Every accomplishment seems as nothing. Every accomplishment is nothing. Praise of God is laughable. A contest of wills is sparked. God is your competition.
Night never breaks. Never does the Night fail or fade slowly into the twilight of morning. Night never breaks. You always break. Always.
God is there in the Night. He waits for your heart. Not your haughty words or testing plans. He waits for your heart. Sometimes it is broken when he takes it in His hands. It isn't always back in one piece when He gives it back. But the scars are stronger than the original bits. They tell a story of survival through God.
Life goes on. God has removed you from the night and you can see once again. Beware: complacency can destroy as surely as a bullet.
Night falls again. This time you can't afford to be angry at God. Maybe you'll get through it faster and stronger this time.
See you when we reach the other side.
posted by Rabies at 12:20 AM
3 Comments:
Yep. It's a scary place to be. And yet, when you finally emerge from it, the grass is greener (assuming it's not January), the snow more magical, laughter sweeter, and dancing so much more enjoyable - for the moment. It's easy to forget when things aren't as hard as they have been.
Thanks for the reminder.
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My little sister and I were reading your blogs...well...I was reading them and making her give me a back rub while I read them aloud for us both. I read this and the poem that went with it. Please know it was a huge encouragement to me. I have been there again just recently and...well, I think you understand the drill. Thank you for writing.
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